Thursday, April 21, 2011

A Drink cup full of Awesome Sauce!

So… The last post was kinda heavy and fraught with profane linguistics. To remunerate any disgruntlement please ruminate on the following.

Yesterday was a day of domesticity. To wit I: cleaned house, did dishes, washed and folded laundry, retrieved younglings, and cooked. Pretty much a run of the mill day. What was special about yesterday and the subject of this posting is condiments. Yes. . . condiments. Many of us are familiar with the standard fare residing in our fridges. There are the requisite, Mayo(or bleeeakk Miracle whip more on this later), Mustard, Ketchup(not Catsup), Fancy mustard(read Grey Poupon . . . this always sounds gross even though it’s tasty) , Salsa, Relish, Hot sauce or Tabasco(I like Frank’s), Soy sauce(naturally brewed? WTF? Is there another way?), Teriyaki or Sukiyaki, Pickles, Sauerkraut. . . various cheeses and the list goes on.
This is the story of a less common yet completely and altogether more magnificent condiment. . . GOOP! 

Yes

GOOP!

For those who are not Olympia Locals let me explain. There is a Ma & Pa Burger Joint by the name of Eagan’s or Big Tom’s (either name will suffice). It is the best Burger and Fast Food eatery in existence. Yes better than Dick’s. Yes better than the In and Out Burger. When you taste a “BIG TOM” after your first bite you wonder why you ever eat any Corporate Burgers EVER! But I Digress. Their special condiment of choice is GOOP!
Now I Don’t know what GOOP really is. They won’t pony up the recipe because it is actually a trade secret. Originally, it was invented and manufactured by the Founder(BIG TOM)’s wife. Since then the recipe has been a closely guarded secret and I believe is now insured by Lloyd’s of London, (joking, joking no libel suits please). It is stupendously fantastic.
As I said previously I don’t know what’s in it but I can venture a few guesses as to its ingredients. Definitely some kind of white dressing, diced green thingies that taste like pickles, diced white thingies that taste like mild onions, some sort of yellow additive, and well some secret herbs and spices. 
Moving on. . .
Yesterday, I planned to have Fish sandwiches and chips(fries for you Yanks)  for supper as I have a Deep fryer and the blood has just been flying right through my arteries. However, I had no tartar sauce. How can one have Fried Fish patties on bread with no Tartar sauce? Easy. . . GOOP! So I boarded my personal motorized conveyance and motorvated on down to my local Eagan’s. There I asked the smart young cutie just how much GOOP she would be willing to sell me. (Extra GOOP with your order comes in 2oz plastic lidded cups for 50cents) She inquired as to the relative size of container I wished to obtain. I hemmed and hahhed over a syrup container size-ish. She suggested a 20 oz drink cup. I agreed. SO for 7$ U.S. I drove home with a drink cup full of Awesome Sauce! Yes Awesome Sauce! I did refrain from asking for a straw with my cup full of Ambrosia as she may have gagged. However, I did toy with the idea of a GOOP shake for almost 3 full seconds before realizing that it would be a waste of precious resources.
IN short Supper was the best Fish and Chips I have had in some time thanks to GOOP!
It goes great in sandwiches, on fries, Jesus it’s even good just smeared on some fucking white bread!
So if you have not yet experienced GOOP. . . do yourselves a freaking favor and Motor on down to Olympia Washington, grab a bite at Eagan’s Drive in, and Don’t Forget the extra GOOP!


P.S. I did say I would get back to the Mayonnaise Miracle Whip dichotomy/argument. In short. . . Mayo Rocks. . . Miracle Whip not so much. It’s not that I don’t like Miracle Whip I just don’t prefer it. Furthermore, I cannot understand why people do. If you like tangy white stuff just. . .

Wait for it. . .

Still waiting. . .

Get your mind out of the gutter, just put plain yogurt on your bread. And, wait there’s a whole group of people who don’t like White dressing of any kind. WTF is wrong with these people? What do you put on your bread? What goes in your boloney sandwiches other than mustard? Butter!!!! Are you effing serious. . . Butter!!!! Now wait just one damn minute! I realize that the secret to good cooking is in fact Butter. And butter can make the most amazing, super-fantastic, tremendous, miraculous PB & J ever crafted (try it. . . make it like mine. . . so sloppy you need a fork!)  But Butter has NO PLACE IN A BOLONEY SANDWICH! YUCK!! EWWW! Makes me want to scrape my tongue. Gawd how awful!

Okay I tolerate Miracle whip if there ain’t no Mayo left, but Christ, at least I don’t put butter on boloney.

And just saying. . . . for those of you who don’t like sauerkraut. . . Fuck you!

5 comments:

  1. Address plz.

    I would definitely like to try this. I've always been of the opinion that small Mom-and-Pop burger places have the potential for the Best Food Evar! Many of them, however, fail egregiously to live up to that.

    If you can narrow down it's location to somewhere more specific than "Olympia", I'll certainly give these guys a try.

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  2. Also, re Miracle Whip:

    Many many years ago, we always had Miracle Whip in the house instead of mayo. It went on baloney sandwiches and into tuna salads. It was what we had so it was all I knew. Then one day my mother got mayo at the store instead and used that. I couldn't believe the additional flavors I had been missing in my sandwiches. Everything tasted so much better. I've never gone back.

    These days, I tend to leave any kind of white sauce out of my deli meat sandwiches, but occasionally I'll go for mayo. Yes, that means there is only mustard on my baloney sandwiches. However there are three things I'll probably never have without mayo:
    1. Fried chicken sandwiches. Bun, chicken patty, single leaf of lettuce, generous slathering of mayo.
    2. Tuna sandwiches. Like I said, I'll never go back to Miracle Whip.
    3. Turkey and havarti on french bread with fresh cut onions. Mayo really brings this sandwich together.

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  3. Jason,
    AT least you don't put efffing Butter on your baloney sandwiches. Plain mustard okay coolio. But are we talking Grey Poupon or plain yellow? Either way you are truly a man amoung men!

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  4. As for the rest of your commentary, Turkey havarti and onion, mouth watering thank you, it might be a SILF!
    And Olympia, well you're coming South right? Okay
    here goes
    I-5 South to US Hwy 101
    Take the "Black Lake Blvd Exit" Stay in the right lane
    Follow through 3 lights
    4th light should be "Harrison Ave" Turn right
    Get in left Lane ASAP
    Eagan's on the Left after about 2-4 Blocks Little crapshack of a joint but ohhh mamma!

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  5. SOrry 'bout the directions you should take the hwy 101 exit off I-5

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