Hammer Toe= Un-dateable

Second hand from my kids:

   While waiting for my GF to finish up in the store my kids waiting in the van were treated to an awesome example of stupidity.  Some crazy bird attempted to negotiate a rock filled median in the parking lot wearing get this. . . .HOOKER HEELS! Seriously!? WTF!?
So this chick stumbles and does a face plant into the pavement breaking her nose!! My kids were treated to the arrival of 2 aid cars and a Fire engine. to administer to this dumb broad! I wish i had been there to laugh. Is it cruel to laugh at some one's obvious stupidity and the subsequent penalties Karma invokes for not having thought things through quite well enough. Let's break this down. . . .
1st Why in hell did she decide to cross the rock filled median? This is an admittedly poor footing choice even with everything else being equal. I too am subjected to Mistress Gravity's harsh remonstrances for attempting such crossings. twisted ankles, hyper extended knees etc. SO what makes this loony nutter go nancing across an obviously treacherous obstacle? The bloody level pavement was only 5 feet away!
2nd This is western Washington folks. Everything here is either damp or downright sopping wet. Wet footing = trip and fall = you looking like an ass! The phenomenal lack of proper judgement here is too gargantuan for literary description. Add to the wet the aforementioned ROCKS, and you have a disaster Scylla just opening its maw.
3rd and most importantly, why heels? I would like to lead a crusade against any kind of heel over 1inch high. I am so tired of women wearing heels. It looks fucking retarded. They make you walk on your tip toes, twist your ankles, blow out your knees, and cause hammer toe. Hammer toe= un-dateable. . . period. Guys if you like women wearing heels get your fucking head examined. This is without a doubt the worst trend in all of fashion. It is as bad as foot binding. Jesus in Jail!
An example:
     I was sitting at lunch the other day enjoying a homemade sammich when two young ladies pulled up to my store. I observed both travelling north from the south POV. The One wearing Heels was attractive until she started walking. Hips swayed like third semi trailer about to come loose. This image is not at all appealing. Her ass looked like it might fall off at any given time. She walked like she had a rod up her brown-eye and one look at her face gave me the impression she'd just smelled a bad fart.
Lady number two, got out in sensible shoes of a flat design, Keds maybe or Sketchers. Less sway same great hips, but in a hypnotic and appealing way like Palm trees in a gentle breeze. NO expression of extreme distaste but one of busy woman about town.
Who would you rather be? or for guys who would you rather talk to? If the answer is anything but Lady #2 you will find deep and abiding fleas in uncomfortable places within the hour.
I just don't get it. . . . The fashion industry is to blame too. All these skinny bitches strutting around in nighties and heels with no tits or ass. How sad has our world become.
Women don't wear heels, no matter what your piggish chauvinist men tell you, or your fashionista rag mags try to convince you with glossy anorexic waif zombie ads. Buy flat, wear flats, if you want to be even more sexy take off your damn shoes and go barefoot.
Men shut your cake holes and let your women be comfy. You'll get a lot more "polish the pickle" if she's not looking like you just blew an air biscuit up her nose.
Yep that's my story, fixing the world's obvious problems that others seem to ignore.
Remember, I'm pulling for ya. We're all in this together.